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We touch up our makeup together, and then we're off to the school dance,where I seem to have no problem with boys dancing with me, flirting withme ....Then my best friend Dave comes up to me, and he looks ....My heart skips a beat just looking at him.He takes my hand, we dance, and I love the feeling of his strong armsaround me.By the time the dance ends I'm trembling with a feeling I cant put myfinger on.Then he kisses me, and I can name it.I'm in love with him.I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off. I almost bailed out. But she was great..she arranged some cushions on the couch for me, made me a strong bourbon and we just talked while she went in&out of the kitchen to check on dinner. On one of her trips out of the kitchen she excused herself to go change. When she got back she was wearing a more casual but tighter jumpsuit kinda thing, my back ached but I noticed. As the evening went on, we ate, talked, had a FEW more drinks and even with the bourbon my back still hurt. She noticed & went to get me some sweat pants to change into. She told me to go into the bathroom in her bedroom to change then to go lay face down on her bed then holler when I was ready. Well I didn't much feel like it but she had cooked for me, gotten my head nice & fuzzy and was gonna give me a backrub. So I said to my half drunk self "why the hell not?" So when I was ready she came in, straddled my legs and began rubbing my back, I was nervous at first but with the bourbon buzzing and the good back rubbing,.
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